i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
