coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
