Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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