i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
