i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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