I'm gonna have a badass scar
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
