Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just found a bag of teeth...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
