So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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