hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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