People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
