You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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