Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
