i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
