The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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