so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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