..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
