so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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