I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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