No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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