Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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