youre lurking in front of me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
