On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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