no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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