Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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