my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize