after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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