Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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