high people should be assigned attendants
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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