so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
