Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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