dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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