I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
