maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
