Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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