Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We named our party play list daddy issues
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
