I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
