Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
