Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
