i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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