just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
