Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
