just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
