Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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