yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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