Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
