i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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