I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
