walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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