Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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