when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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