At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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