took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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