i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
