Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
