Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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