Sry I called you an 8
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
