dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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