I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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