I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
