First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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