In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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