Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
