Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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