party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize