Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how can u be prego again
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
